Jealous For, Not Jealous Of

I’ve had the privilege of sharing my story, stories of how God has shown up in my life in ways I never could have orchestrated on my own. Not just once, but over and over again for the last 24 years. 

 Since 2002, I have watched God move in ways that still leave me in awe.

 I’ve seen provision where there was no logical way forward.

I’ve been carried through seasons where I didn’t know how I would survive-emotionally, spiritually, or even physically.

I’ve watched my children be provided for when I had no idea how it would happen.

I’ve experienced the presence of God not just around me but within me -transforming my heart, my thinking, my identity, my life.

I have heard the voice of God speak to me clearly  

 And I’ve told  these stories all over the world.

 Not because my story is special but because God is.

 Every story I tell is about God and the power of God- redemption- hope-healing and transformation. About how God meets us in the most devastated places of our soul and brings life back where we thought nothing could grow again.

There’s something that has always quietly broken my heart.

 Sometimes, when people hear these stories, instead of hope rising up in them… jealousy showed up.

Not the kind of jealousy that awakens hunger  but the kind that compares.

The kind that says, “Why them and not me?”

 And I understand that feeling more than I wish I did.  Because that used to be me.

 I was jealous of everything.

People’s gifts.

Their talents.

Their beauty.

Their spiritual lives.

The way God seemed to show up for them.

There was a story buried deep in my soul that said, “That’s not for you.”

God does that for others but not for you.

That belief will suffocate everything.

 It will steal hope before it ever has a chance to grow.

It will disconnect you from the very presence you’re longing for.

Then God began to shift something in me.

God interrupted my internal conversation TI began to open myself - just a little- to the voice of truth…

The Spirit of the Living God voice got a little louder than mine own. 

The Day statutes to listen - consider what God was saying - Everything began to change.

 Not overnight.

Not perfectly.

But consistently.

The more I leaned in, the more I witnessed movement with power, with tenderness, with provision, with fire in ways I still can’t fully explain.

Then I began I’ve realized something.

 I’m still jealous but it’s very different.

 I’m no longer jealous of what others have.

 I’m jealous for something.

 Scripture speaks of God as jealous not in comparison, but in longing.

A holy jealousy.

A desire for closeness, for connection, for relationship.

 A longing for us to draw near.

To trust.

To engage.

To be present in the presence. 

 I believe we are invited into that same kind of jealousy.

 Not the kind that compares but the kind that hungers because there’s a kind of jealousy that kills… and there’s a kind of jealousy that awakens.

 Being jealous of something is rooted in lack.

It shrinks you.

It hardens your heart.

It makes you feel like there’s not enough.  

But being jealous for something?

That’s different.

That’s sacred.

That’s the moment you see something in someone else and instead of shrinking, something rises up inside of you and says,

“I want that too.” 

Not their life.

Not their exact story.

But the depth.

The intimacy.

The aliveness.

The connection with the Divine.

 That’s what our stories are meant to do.  

Not create comparison but awaken possibility.

 Not make people feel less but call them forward.

Because what God does in one life is not proof of limitation, it’s proof of availability.

 And maybe…

 You have been jealous of something and it needs to shift to being jealous for God to reveal... restore.... heal... speak... to you too. 

Maybe it become the cry of you heart - What you’ve been  jealousy for …

 Is actually an invitation.

 So pause for a moment and ask yourself honestly:

 Are you jealous of something…

or are you jealous for something?

 Because most of us have learned to be jealous of.

It’s almost automatic but there’s another way.

What if, instead of letting that feeling turn inward and close you off…

you let it turn upward and pull you forward?

What if you learned to shift it?

Let it become a prayer.

 God, help me discover what’s been placed inside of me.

God, help me uncover my gifts.

God, help me walk in truth.

God, help me become the fullest version of who I was created to be.

Because being jealous of will keep you stuck…but learning to be jealous for?

That might change everything.  

Rebecca Dawn