Love, Honor, and Cherish - Till Death Do We Part
In 2015, I was standing alone in a Banana Republic dressing room, doing something completely ordinary trying on a shirt. I pulled the shirt over my head, turned toward the mirror, and something extraordinary happened.
I felt as if the Divine hands of God reached out through the mirror-not to judge, not to correct-but to pull me closer than I heard the Spirit say, “Look at her!”
For the first time in my life, I could see me, deep within me, the story and song that I had been telling myself my entire life.
Not just hear it—but see it on my face, in my soul and the effect the story and song has had on me and my entire life.
The narrative had been running my entire life: the self-hatred, the belittling inner conversations, the shame of not being who I thought I should be, not measuring up to who I wanted to be. The story and song was Relentless. Familiar. Normalized.
In that moment, the voice I heard was different.
It was saturated with love.
With compassion.
With mercy.
With the grace I had been starving for.
And the message was simple and devastatingly clear:
Look at her. Do you see HER Rebecca! Look at what you’re doing to yourself!!
Instantly, I understood something profound— the story I told myself was the most powerful magnet. The beliefs I had carried for decades were not passive thoughts; they were forces. They had been the force pulling people, situations, and circumstances into my life that perfectly mirrored and affirmed those faulty belief systems.
Then came the question that changed everything:
Are you finished?
Are you finished abusing her?
I felt God say something that stopped me cold.
“You people make vows to other humans—to love, honor, and cherish them till death do you part. But no one ever teaches a child, or an adult, to make that same commitment to themselves.”
Then, as clearly as anything I’ve ever known, I heard:
“You must make that commitment today, promise to love, honor and cherish yourself until death do you depart this body.”
So I looked at myself in the mirror and I said out loud.
‘Rebecca, from this day forward, until the day you leave this body, I promise I will figure out how to love you.”
I didn’t know how.
But I promised I would learn. (and I am learning)
I promised myself that when I made mistakes, I would give myself grace for being human and I would stop punishing myself for being humanly flawed. I committed that day to offer compassion where I once gave cruelty, understanding where I once gave shame, kindness where I once gave contempt.
I promised to love myself as I am and for who I am until the day I leave this body.
I took a picture of myself right there in that dressing room, a sacred record of the vow I had just made.
Then I walked out to my car.
Seven has always been my number. Every time I see it, it feels like God whispering, yes, yes, yes!
I was parked in parking spot seven.
I took a picture of my shoes next to that number, another quiet confirmation I was standing at the threshold of something powerful and true.
I knew then everything would change if, in every situation moving forward, instead of responding with self-hatred, criticism, or violence toward myself, I chose love, compassion, and kindness.
The next morning, I went for a run.
Five in the morning is my favorite time to run, when the world is dark, quiet, and fells like humanity is tucked in bed sleeping. It feels like me and God out there alone together and we have the whole space of the universe to talk. I love All that space and All that silence.
About a mile into my run, these letters started appearing in my mind dancing almost.
SB1. SB1. SB1.SB1. SB1…..
Over and over, for nearly a mile.
Finally, I stopped in the middle of the road and said, okay, you have my attention. What is SB1? What are you trying to tell me?
The answer came immediately.
“Stop bullying the one in the mirror!
You have anti-bullying campaigns everywhere, and it’s not stopping because the real issue is this: the world is a reflection of what is happening inside the human heart.”
If a human stops bullying themselves and learns to love, this will changes them as individual, then their internal love will change the world.”
If people learned to love themselves first, to give themselves the grace, compassion, acceptance, and understanding they need, they would naturally extend it to their neighbor. To their brother. To someone on the other side of a belief system, political belief, country and world.
People would learn to hold tension within themselves, and that inner capacity would expand outward, tenfold.
And something else would happen.
If there were no hatred living inside of you, there would be nothing to project onto someone else. Loving someone with a different belief system would no longer feel threatening, because there would be no inner war demanding an enemy. Hate would lose its fuel. It could not survive in a heart that had learned how to belong to itself.
When you are no longer divided within, you do not need others to be wrong in order to feel whole. Difference stops feeling dangerous. It becomes human. Sacred, even.
The division in the world is a reflection of the division within each of us.
And the healing of the world begins the same way healing always does—inside.
With a vow we were never taught to make.
To love, honor, and cherish ourselves, till death do we part our bodies.
I have not achieved perfect love. Some days I completely miss loving myself. I fall back into an old pattern. I forget the vow.
Then the dawn rises on a new day, I get up and try to learn love again.
Every day, I get a little bit better. There are still days I need to be reminded of the grace and mercy I must give to myself. This is a journey. Finding your way home to love is a process. Be gentle. Be patient. Be gracious along the way.
Rebecca Dawn
