Pete Siler

If you’ve read any of my stories at all, you can probably tell that my belief system about myself was not very kind. Because of that, I struggled with depression. I had no hope for the future. I didn’t believe I could do anything, become anything, or accomplish anything.

I didn’t think I was smart enough to even try.

School was not my sweet spot. Learning felt hard—not because I was incapable, but because when you tell yourself you’re dumb long enough, your mind stops receiving information. Everything inside of me rejected learning, because it conflicted with the story I believed about myself.

So in high school, I didn’t do very well.

My senior year, I needed to raise my GPA, and I needed an A. I heard there was a plant science/soil science was an easy class. I signed up for Mr. Siler’s soil science class for an easy A, but what I got was so much more.

Learning was  difficult. Tests terrified me. I was living out the belief that I wasn’t smart enough, and because of that, I couldn’t take in what was being taught.

One day, Mr. Siler called me to the back of the classroom where he was sitting at his desk.

I was terrified.

I got out of my seat already bracing myself, convinced he was about to join the chorus of voices I had heard my whole life-the ones that told me I was dumb, incompentant. Terffied to hear  I wouldn’t amount to anything, and I couldn’t even pass the one class that was supposed to be easy.

I stood next to his desk, protecting myself for what was coming.

Instead, he smiled. A big, kind smile. He even chuckled a little and said, “Rebecca, I have a proposition for you.”

I waited.

He said, “I’ll give you an A in my class. You won’t have to take the test or the final if you join FFA-Future Farmers of America-and do public speaking.”

Public speaking- me.

He went on to explain the process and competitions—regionals, districts, state.

Now, let me be clear. He was talking to a girl with no self-esteem. No confidence. No belief in any ability within herself. I saw myself as a complete mess. I believed I had zero value to bring to the table- any table in life. And this man was asking me to join something that required me to expose myself, stand up and speak, to make my self vulnerable to more voices that would affirm the lies. I was trembling and said yes,

Not because I believed I could.
Not because I thought I had anything to say.
But because I needed that A and I needed to raise my GPA!

And I was a terrible test taker.

We created a presentation about agriculture—how it isn’t just farming, but something far bigger. Animals. Systems. Cycles of life. How agriculture touches everything. We spoke on Expansiveness of Agriculture, and I loved everything about do thing this.  The deeper we went, the bigger it became.

And then we presented it.

The first time I stood on that stage, something happened.

I came alive. I could feel every single cell was alive within me.

I had never felt more alive in my entire existence than I did standing there, speaking. We won regionals. Then districts. Then we went to the state finals at Michigan State University.

I remember standing in front of a crowd of about four hundred parents and teachers, all there to watch their kids compete. I think we took third place that year at State.

I remember standing in that building thinking something I had never thought before:

I think I was born to speak.
I think I was born to tell a story.

It was the first time in my life I felt something good rising up inside of me. Like maybe there was more to me than the lie I had believed for so long. Maybe there was a gift. Maybe there was ability. Maybe there was something worth bringing into the world.

Many years later, after God had done deep work in my life, I was asked to share my story at women’s events. I traveled to Algeria, India, Paraguay. I spoke across the world.

I remember coming home from Africa for the first time, picking up the phone, and calling Pete Siler.

I thanked him.

I thanked him for seeing something in me that  I could not see in myself at the time. Because one man’s simple act of kindness-one moment of saying, “I see something in you,” and calling it forward-changed my life.

One person has the power to transform a life.

There’s a story about Michelangelo. Someone once asked him how he decided to carve David out of a massive block of marble. Michelangelo said he didn’t create David-David was already there. His job was simply to chisel away what didn’t belong.

I feel like Pete Siler picked up a chisel and began removing parts of me I couldn’t remove myself. He helped free me from a prison I didn’t even know how to unlock.

For that, I will always be grateful.

What may have seemed like nothing to him was everything to me.

At the end of the day, that’s all I want to do too. Share thoughts and stories with the world which cause people to think more expansive thoughts. To help chisel people out from whatever they’ve been trapped in. and to expose the beauty that already exists beneath fear, shame, and false belief.

Because every one of us has greatness inside.
Every one of us has a gift, a talent, a story waiting to be revealed.

Sometimes all it takes is one person willing to see it.

Thank you, Pete.

Rebecca Dawn