A Different Understanding of Lust

Until today, I never believed I had a problem with lust.

I had always viewed lust and perversion through a sexual lens. I thought lust was sexual desire directed toward another person, and I believed a perverse mind was one filled with inappropriate sexual thoughts. Because I did not struggle in those ways, I assumed lust was not something living within me.

But today, God allowed me to see lust from a completely different perspective.

Lust can be any desire that becomes so consuming that it begins to control our thoughts, distort our gratitude, leave us empty, wanting more after achieving it and steal our peace. It can be a hunger for money, the right outfit, a different house, a newer car, a certain image, a person to meet an need they were not created for or an imagined version of ourselves we believe we must become before we can feel worthy or fulfilled.

Lust is not always about wanting another person sexually. 

Sometimes lust is looking at what someone else has and allowing our minds to become consumed with the belief that we need it too. Sometimes lust is looking at our reflection and obsessing over the person we think we should be. Sometimes it is constantly imagining the next purchase, the next achievement, or the next version of ourselves- believing that when we finally reach it, we will be satisfied.

Lust is never truly satisfied.

It consumes, but it does not nourish. It promises fulfillment, but it leaves emptiness. It creates an appetite that cannot be filled because the thing we are chasing was never created to complete us.

Lust is a void. It continually tells us that  we have is not enough, where we are is not enough, and who we are is not enough. It keeps our attention fixed on what is missing instead of allowing us to experience the life already surrounding us.

That is how it robs us- not as a label of shame, but as a pattern that quietly takes life away.

It takes away our peace because we are always reaching for something else. It takes away our gratitude because our eyes are fixed on what we do not have or looking for the next one. It takes away our joy because we convince ourselves happiness exists somewhere in the future. It takes away our presence because we are never fully living in the moment God has given us.

Anything that continually takes life away or leaves us empty deserves to be examined.

Lust can look like a constant hunger for money- the belief that one more paycheck, one more sale, one more promotion, or one more number in the bank will finally make us feel secure.

Lust can look like a constant search for the right outfit, believing if we find the perfect clothes, we will finally feel beautiful, confident, accepted, or complete.

So we keep searching. We keep buying. We keep imagining that the next thing will give us what the last thing could not.

Lust never truly fills us.

The outfit may bring excitement for a moment, but soon we begin searching for another one. More money may bring temporary relief, but then the amount that once seemed like enough no longer feels sufficient. Lust continually moves the finish line. It promises joy, but it leaves us chasing something that cannot give us the abundance of joy, peace, and love we were truly seeking.

Money is not wrong. Beautiful clothing is not wrong. Having a comfortable home or nice things is not wrong. The danger begins when we ask those things to provide what they were never created to give us—identity, worth, security, peace, or lasting joy. Just like when people lust of the next person to fill them.

Today, I realized that a perverted thought is not necessarily sexual. The word perverted can also mean something that has been distorted or twisted away from its original purpose.

A healthy desire can become distorted when it begins to control us. A dream can become distorted when it causes us to despise our present life. A goal can become distorted when our worth becomes attached to achieving it. A relationship can become distorted when we expect another person to carry the responsibility of making us whole.

Wanting a beautiful life is not wrong. Wanting financial stability, growth, healing, confidence, or abundance is not wrong. Abundance itself is not the problem- physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I believe God desires for us to experience a full and meaningful life.

The difference is in what the desire produces within us.

Healthy growth allows us to work toward something while still being grateful for where we are. It does not require us to hate our present life in order to desire something different.

Consuming desire feels restless and impatient. It says, “I cannot be happy until I have that.” It says, “I cannot feel beautiful until I look like that.” It says, “I cannot feel successful until I accomplish more.” It says, “My life cannot be meaningful until everything changes.”

That kind of desire becomes an endless hunger. No matter how much we receive, it immediately begins searching for the next thing.

True abundance is not simply having more. Abundance is recognizing the fullness of what has already been given.

It is gratitude for the clothes already hanging in our closet, the money that has already provided for us, the home that already shelters us, the relationships that have loved us, and the life that is already unfolding around us. Gratitude opens our eyes to the overflow we may have overlooked while searching for something else.

Lust says, “I will be joyful when I receive more.” Gratitude says, “There is already more goodness here than I have taken the time to see.”

Jesus taught, “Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance” (Matthew 13:12). I do not hear that only as a promise of greater possessions. I hear an invitation to recognize, value, steward, and multiply what has already been placed in our hands.

Perhaps more is not always given because we demanded it. Perhaps more is sometimes entrusted to us because gratitude prepared us to carry it.

When we are grateful, abundance no longer means endlessly accumulating things. It becomes an overflow of joy, peace, generosity, wisdom, love, and provision. We stop grasping for more in an attempt to fill an emptiness, and we begin receiving from a place that is already full.

Lust consumes what it receives and immediately asks for something else. Gratitude receives, honors, enjoys, and shares.

I feel deeply convicted as I begin to recognize the places in my own life where lust has been evident and empty.

Not only a lust for money, clothing, a home, or possessions- but a lust to become someone I am not. A lust to look different, live differently, and somehow escape the person and the life standing in front of me.

I have looked at what other people have and allowed it to create dissatisfaction with what has been given to me. I have searched for something outside of myself to meet a need within me that no possession, person, image, or accomplishment could ever truly satisfy.

I have lusted for an image of myself that does not exist. I have believed that if I could look the right way, wear the right thing, own the right home, earn the right amount, or be seen in the right light, I would finally feel complete.

But the search itself was evidence of the emptiness. It did not create life in me. It drained life from me.

This realization is not bringing me shame. It is bringing me awareness. It is inviting me to look honestly at what has been occupying my thoughts and asking for my peace in exchange.

Sometimes, without realizing it, I have also placed pressure on other people to fill the places in me that I could not meet on my own.

I have wanted others to make me feel secure. I have wanted others to make me feel worthy. I have wanted others to reassure me, affirm me, choose me, or give me the love I was struggling to give myself.

That is an impossible burden to place on another person.

No person can permanently fill a place within us that we are unwilling to face. No relationship can carry the responsibility of making us whole. No amount of attention, praise, money, clothing, success, or admiration can heal the belief that we are not enough.

Lust keeps reaching outward for something to cure an inward emptiness. It says, “Someone must give this to me.” It says, “Something must change before I can be at peace.” It says, “I need what they have in order to feel whole.”

Gratitude invites me to return to my own life. It asks me to stop looking away from who I am, what I have, and where I have been placed. It invites me to love the person God created instead of constantly trying to trade that person for an imagined version of myself.

This does not mean I stop growing. It does not mean I stop dreaming, changing, healing, or becoming. It means I stop using growth as a way to reject myself.

There is a difference between becoming everything God intended me to be and lusting to become someone I was never created to be.

Healthy becoming is not rooted in shame. It is rooted in love.

It does not say, “I hate who I am, so I must change.” It says, “I honor who I am, and I am willing to grow.”

It does not demand that someone else complete me. It teaches me to receive love without making another person responsible for my identity.

It does not obsess over what someone else has. It recognizes that another person’s blessing does not diminish what has been prepared for me.

I want to become everything God intended me to be, but I do not want to miss the beauty of who I already am.

I want to be grateful for what I have, thankful for what may still be given, and surrender even to what may one day be taken away.

That may be one of the deepest forms of gratitude-not only thanking God for receiving but trusting God through releasing.

Can I remain grateful when more is given? Can I remain grateful when something changes? Can I remain grateful when something I love is no longer mine to hold?

Can I trust that my life still has abundance even when it does not look the way I imagined?

True abundance cannot be measured only by what remains in our hands. It is also found in the love, wisdom, strength, faith, and gratitude that remain within us when our circumstances change.

I do not want to spend my life lusting after another person’s life. I do not want to keep searching for an outfit, an amount of money, an appearance, a relationship, or an accomplishment that promises to make me enough.

I want to stop asking temporary things to meet eternal needs. I want to live from fullness rather than constantly searching for something to fill me.

Questions to Sit With

• What am I allowing to consume me?

• What have I convinced myself I must possess before I can be happy?

• What version of myself am I chasing so relentlessly that I have forgotten to love who I am today?

• What need am I pressuring another person to meet for me?

• What blessings have I overlooked because my eyes were fixed on what I still wanted?

• Can I receive more without believing that more is the source of my worth?

• Can I release what changes without losing gratitude for what it once gave me?

God,

Thank You for opening my eyes to the desires within me that have become consuming.

Thank You for showing me the places where I have searched for money, clothing, possessions, appearances, relationships, and accomplishments to give me what they could never provide.

Forgive me for looking at the lives of others and allowing comparison to distort the beauty of my own. Forgive me for believing that I needed to become someone else before I could be worthy of love, joy, peace, or belonging.

Help me release the pressure I have placed on others to meet needs within me that they were never created to carry. Teach me to receive love without demanding that another person become the source of my identity or wholeness.

Help me become everything You intended me to be-not from shame, self-rejection, or restless striving, but from love, peace, purpose, and trust.

Fill me with gratitude for who I am today. Fill me with thankfulness for what I already have.

Open my eyes to the abundance surrounding me-the love I have received, the lessons I have learned, the roof over me, the clothes I wear, the provision that has sustained me, and the breath within my body.

Thank You for what has already been given. Thank You for what may still be given. And give me the grace to remain thankful even for what may be taken away.

Teach me to hold blessings with open hands. Help me trust that my worth does not increase when I receive more and does not decrease when I possess less.

Remove the hunger that can never be satisfied and replace it with a heart that recognizes fullness.

Where there is comparison, give me contentment. Where there is pressure, give me peace. Where there is emptiness, fill me with love. Where there is striving, teach me to rest. Where there is lust, restore gratitude.

May I never become so focused on what I want that I fail to honor what I have. May I never become so determined to change that I forget to love the person You created.

May I grow without rejecting myself, receive without becoming consumed, and releasewithout becoming afraid.

Let my life be filled with gratitude, thankfulness, love, and trust. Help me recognize that true abundance is not found in endlessly having more, but in fully seeing, honoring, and loving what has already been placed before me.

Amen.

Much love, 

Rebecca